A distraught amateur watercolorist was holed up in the art room of the Foamy Waves Retirement Center in Carpton, South Carolina for two days. According to Constable Lance Rippleframe, artist Pearl Sneed snapped after she botched a cloudscape with a muddy wash.
A sky painting expert was called in by the police as a special crisis negotiator in hopes of talking down Miss Sneed. Through paint spattered windows she could be seen pacing, gesticulating, and talking to herself.
As the rain coat clad negotiator slipped through the door, this reporter glimpsed a studio that had been spattered in thalo blue, an act of madness. Everyone knows thalo colors are impossible to remove.
An apoplectic Sneed was coaxed out from behind her easel and order restored at the recreation center but the flower arranging class had to be cancelled. Miss Sneed is now resting comfortably in her cottage, and a team of experts from the regional watercolor society is poring over her cloudscape in hopes of finding the causes for the overly neutralized washes. Their finding will be reported in future press releases.
-Axel Sheensolver, Faux Art News
