It is time to rise from my slumber and trudge out to the psychic tool shed, kick start the collective unconscious to foresee what the Art World has in store for us in ‘08. Ah. If we could only live in the present this would all be so unnecessary. So let me take out the sketchbook of life and draw our collective fortune.
Predictions for ‘08
-Historians will place Thomas Kincaide alongside Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Rembrandt, in the hiearchy of art history…no not really, I’m just yankin’ your chain.
-A drug company will market Inspira to combat the dreaded artist’s block.
-Art prices will plunge as overuse of Inspira leads to a glut of great works of art on the world market.
-Pharmaceutical stocks will soar as news of a drug to combat depression among artists is leaked.
-Selling paintings will be found to be a conspiracy among professional artists to make a living.
-Art researchers will discover Andy Warhol was mistaken, speculation is that people have nearly seventeen minutes of fame, rather than the widely accepted fifteen.
-A prominent American University will send researchers to England to find out the secret to dry humor.
-Watercolor painting will supplant football as the national obsession, no, just yanking your chain again.
Cosmically yours, The Art Psychic

It is time to wake from winter doldrums, clean the pine needles from the moat around my castle here high up in the mystic realm, unclog the quill pen and make contact with the zero point field werein the collective art consciousness resides, the future lies before us like the sculptor’s stone the painter’s canvas, and the photographers film. The likeness already formed only to be revealed by one who knows.

Predictions for ‘07

Art historians will reveal two little known ironies:

-James Mcneill Whistler couldn’t whistle

-Francis Bacon hated bacon

More predictions:

-In honor of contemporary artist David Hockney, the game of hockey will be changed to hockney.

-A Sacramento graphic designer who moved to Oregon will develop moldy fonts

-An Oregon potato chip exec will invent chips that look like artist palettes.

-A missing Dreamworks special effects specialist will be found on a ranch in Oregon stacking hay bales.

-Thomas Kincaide will be spotted lurking about a starving artists sale in Pico Rivera.

-Panoramic landscape artists will assail a new federal tax on landscape paintings. The new tax will be based on the amount of acreage depicted in each painting.

-Extreme closeups of mere inches of earth will therefore become popular with painters.

-Portrait artists across the world will find themselves paying royalties to a computer digital imaging company that secretly bought the copyright to all human faces. Whenever a portrait is painted, royalties will be automatically debited from an artist’s account and credited to this company. The debit card company will then debit a surcharge for using their system, that surchage will then be subject to state and federal taxes. Those taxes will automatically be debited from that account, which will be subject to a surcharge that… well you get the picture, it goes on and on until the account is drained.

Disclaimer:

Futuring is an art not science, do not use for investment purposes.

Caution: Do not attempt futuring at home, it may cause electrical appliances to malfunction.

These predictions were received in a foil lined laboratory.