Anther case of art rage occurred earlier this month when a remark by diminutive eighty six year old oil painter Ada Flick touched off a melee at a community art club in Load, Kentucky.

“She smeared my begonias and proceeded to call them derivative drivel by an overblown hack,”

sniffed portly Blaine Slatt, long considered one the tri-counties premier floral artists. ” No one insults Blaine W. Slatt especially an upstart like Ada Flick!”

According to Constable Axel Mote, Slatt in a fit of rage allegedly poured paint thinner on Ms Flick’s epic master work Sherman’s March to the Sea. Long simmering tensions erupted among the art club members. It was brother against brother, daughter against mother, oilist against watercolorist, value painter versus colorist, even the pastelists threw chalk. There was a pall of charcoal dust in the air.

Cooler heads prevailed when members of the poetry club across the hall restored order by repeatedly reciting selections from Walt Whitman’s the The Leaves of Grass. Soon the artists were quietly dozing.

Chastened club president, Nancy Swett, wringing her hands went on to recount the carnage. “General Sherman was completely wiped out as well as Sheridan’s horse. As For Gen’l Jubal Early, well let us just say the South will not rise again. The human toll? Ada Flick has yet to regain speech and Blaine Slatt has been banned for life from the Tri-County Culture Center.

Faux Art News