It is time to wake from winter doldrums, clean the pine needles from the moat around my castle here high up in the mystic realm, unclog the quill pen and make contact with the zero point field werein the collective art consciousness resides, the future lies before us like the sculptor’s stone the painter’s canvas, and the photographers film. The likeness already formed only to be revealed by one who knows.
Predictions for ’07
Art historians will reveal two little known ironies:
-James Mcneill Whistler couldn’t whistle
-Francis Bacon hated bacon
-In honor of contemporary artist David Hockney, the game of hockey will be changed to hockney.
-A Sacramento graphic designer who moved to Oregon will develop moldy fonts
-An Oregon potato chip exec will invent chips that look like artist palettes.
-A missing Dreamworks special effects specialist will be found on a ranch in Oregon stacking hay bales.
-Thomas Kincaide will be spotted lurking about a starving artists sale in Pico Rivera.
-Panoramic landscape artists will assail a new federal tax on landscape paintings. The new tax will be based on the amount of acreage depicted in each painting.
-Extreme closeups of mere inches of earth will therefore become popular with painters.
-Portrait artists across the world will find themselves paying royalties to a computer digital imaging company that secretly bought the copyright to all human faces. Whenever a portrait is painted, royalties will be automatically debited from an artist’s account and credited to this company. The debit card company will then debit a surcharge for using their system, that surchage will then be subject to state and federal taxes. Those taxes will automatically be debited from that account, which will be subject to a surcharge that… well you get the picture, it goes on and on until the account is drained.
Futuring is an art not science, do not use for investment purposes.
Caution: Do not attempt futuring at home, it may cause electrical appliances to malfunction.
These predictions were received in a foil lined laboratory.